Bah, Humbug! |Blogmas Fail
Hey Yall! Ok Let me be real here, I am NOT feeling the holidays this year. Like at all! I was hoping I could hype myself up with Christmas movies and music, but the reality is, I’m just not into it this year. We don’t even have a tree up this year. (Although I will make sure we have stockings up, at the very least) I started out the Blogmas journey will all the good intent, but I failed! 🙂
Sometimes life steps in and makes you want to give up. I think this time of year is a tiny bit scary for me. This time last year we were all preparing for Christmas and having fun. Happy and unaware of what was going to come for our family on the first day of the year. And through the following days and months. Honestly I’ve been putting off writing about this for a long time. It’s hard to have to deal with. But I know there are many out there who could possibly be helped by me sharing.
On January 1st 2017 My husband Had a stroke.
It’s still hard to say or write those words. It’s hard to think that while I basically stood around and watched, the love of my life suffered something that could have killed him. He seemed fine, none of the typical signs of a stroke (to learn the signs of a stroke check out this site Signs of a Stroke) His only symptom was a headache and a blood pressure that was high which wasn’t unusual for him, but his pressure wouldn’t come down no matter what we did. He spent most of that day sleeping. A sudden severe headache is a less known sign of a stroke.
For Christmas, my husband and I gifted ourselves memberships to a local gym, so we decided to go check it out the day after Christmas. While there Stephan, my hubby, and I worked on different machines, trying things out. After a little bit of trying different machines out, Stephan comes and says he feels tired and is ready to go. Then he says my whole right side feels strange. He told me if felt heavy and it was hard for him to use the bike he had been trying to pedal. Instantly I was concerned, as a Home Care Aide I had been trained in possible stroke symptoms. He hadn’t had any of the other well known signs but the headache and high pressures mixed with weakness on one side made me say we needed to go to the ER.
After a lot of confusion and misinformation, it was confirmed that he had suffered a stroke that week before. He is still learning to deal with the damage done by the stroke. It’s difficult to have an ailment that shows no outside signs. It’s assumed that you should be able to do certain things, and live a certain way, but you aren’t able to do so. I have watched my husband deal with this on top of beginning dialysis and suffer eye damage. It hasn’t been easy on any of us, but his strength and perseverance is amazing to see. He tells people I am the amazing one and that I am the strong one, but he deals with pain, discomfort and agony on a daily basis. And most days he does it with a smile and a joke. Doctors and Nurses always tell us they are impressed with how much he laughs and jokes during all he goes through. It’s not all fun and games and many days just plain suck! But I feel blessed that we get to share any time that God allows us together.
The holidays just aren’t all that exciting this year. We are blessed, but these days tend to feel as if we are waiting for the other shoe to drop, at all times. It has been one thing after another for our family. I am choosing to put all of my energy into preparing for 2018, to continue to be grateful for the blessing of still having my husband by my side, and to pushing through the less than happy feelings, till I make it out on the other side.
I pray you all enjoy this holiday season. And I’ll see you all after the new year!