Mothers Day: Bitter but Oh So Sweet

Mothers Day: Bitter but Oh So Sweet

Happy Mothers Day to all of my mommy readers. No matter if you are a biological mom, a step mom, a mom at heart or mom to an angel. This day is for you!

I have been MIA for a while, but I wanted to be sure and acknowledge the day with you all.

Mothers day is always a bittersweet day for my. My beautiful mother passed away when I was just 3 months old due to leukemia.

Mothers Day
My Mommy

There she is with that fly afro 🙂 Everything I have ever been told about her, let’s me know she was an amazing woman who loved God, Her family and especially me. She fought hard just to bring me into this world and in the end she gave her all for me. I am grateful to be able to call her my mom. You would think, since I didn’t really get to know her, I’d not really be all that influenced by her. But I am. I don’t normally think too deeply about it, but she is a large part of the reason I am who I am today. I want to be like her. I want to the be the sweet, loving person everyone who knew her says she was. My dad tells me I have her laugh, so I try and laugh as much as possible! Even though I will never know her this side of heaven, I am trying my best to be just like my mom. She left big shoes to fill.

Mothers Day
My Mom and Grandma
mother's Day
Mommy and Me

Two years ago now, I also lost my grandmother. The very woman who helped turn my mother into who she was. My grandmother also had a huge impact on my life. She reminded me to be proud of who I was ans where I came from. She battled illness for a long time as well, and all the way til the end, she was nothing but the picture of strength and grace.

Both of these women among so many others that I have been blessed to have in my life, have shaped the mom I am today! I have the honor of being mom and step mom to two amazing children. Mothers DayI cannot express how much joy ( and grey hair) they both bring me!

I spent two years as a single mom to my son. Those years and that time, showed me that I possessed the same strength I knew my mom and grandmother had. I found courage and a voice I hadn’t known before.

Just this past year my husband and I suffered the blow of a miscarriage after 3 long years of praying and hooping for a little one together. As I am sure you can imagine Mothers Day took a sharp turn toward the bitter that year.

I wanted to share all of this to say, that while this day can me tough for me in many ways, I remain thankful that I am blessed to have these two children in my life. I have a Mother in Love who is really like the mom I didn’t get to have and I have had two Step Mom’s who took me as their own child at different parts of my life! I could focus on what is bitter in my heart and spend the day sad, but I would miss all the SWEET that this day also brings! Bouquets of Dandelions from my son, breakfast in bed from my husband, and even sweet memories from my dad about who my mom was and what she was like. I will admit that it’s hard to focus on those things at times.
When I have moments of sadness and even feeling a bit sorry for myself, besides praying about it, I always go create something. Creating has gotten me through many sad, difficult moments in my life. I am able to channel all of my feeling into a tangible project. In turn I am able to use my sadness for good. I believe God has blessed each one of us with unique abilities that can be used to do all sorts of amazing things. Those amazing things might just start with helping ourselves. He knows just what we need.

I pray each of you has a great Mothers Day, and remember:

“…weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” Psalm 30:5 KJV

Be Blessed,

Astarie